wduckolope asked:


My parents died when I was two by killing themself with anchors… yeah so uh now I am twelve and my Aunt who I’ve been living with just killed herself too, aling with my three year old sisters and my only other relatives from Ireland… oh yeah, my Uncle Adolph, from Germany died awhile ago… from *******. But Mommy and Daddy died another way… anyway, I need a place to stay. Does anyone know which one I should stay in? I want it to have cable TV, a hot tub, room service, house cleaning, and warm showers with jets. I would also like quality food, such as cake. Email me back… Preferably before the cops find me living in this abandoned CVS next to Dunkin’ Donuts… yesterday somebody offered me a donut and I took it to feed my turtle, Alfred. But then Alfred collapsed dramatically and he was joking cause Al is quite the dramatic one. But as I soon figured out, my turtle knew that he shouldn’t eat donuts. Meaning that he killed himself too. I then threw his empty shell in the garbage nearby… thank you… Any orphanage is neccessary.